NOTE: Please see my Etsy shop for any available products. It's December, and pickings are slim :) I update and renew products as fast as I can sew- check my Etsy often!

Me, in a nutshell? I'm a mother to two tow-headed tween girls and a Silky terrier named Haggis. I'm married to a Scottish import, from north of Edinburgh. He's very calm, I'm very excitable, it works. He works from home, running our (uh, his) engineering firm, and I work from home, making felt vaginas and other ladybits. There's a good balance going on! We live downtown Burlington (Ontario), where we can walk to gorgeous lake Ontario, local shops, the pub, the kids' school, cafes, we can hike the Niagara escarpment. I was born and raised here, and hope never to leave <3

I’m a happy soul, our life is simple and content. Except a minor blip a few years back, I thought I’d take up snowboarding, and pulled my groin. That wasn’t simple, and left me with great discontent. I’m back on skiis now, I’ll leave the kids and husband to the boarding :) Well, in December of 2012, I set off for a solo weekend up north. I was armed to the teeth with neutral coloured pieces of plasticky craft shop felt, I was going to make my kids' preschool teachers a few woodland animal ornaments for their Christmas gifts. While I’d never sewed anything, I've always had a creative bent, so I thought nothing of whipping up a few animal ornaments.

Huh. Turns out I'm not so much a woodland animal ornament maker.

That weekend, felt penis ornaments happened. I was watching a Liam Neeson movie, phwoar! The teachers loved the penis ones! (As have subsequent elementary school teachers lol. Maybe not your everyday teacher gift, but when it's me doing the gifting, a little kitsch is expected ha!).

A few weekends later, felt vagina ornaments happened - I have a happy lesbian friend, thought she needed representation!

In the battle of the felt genitalia ornaments, turns out vaginas indeed rule the world (hello, they do), and Vaginament and Felt Melons happened. They happened so big that Vaginament is now a registered trademark with the USPTO, I was so proud <3

At 43, it seems I am mother, wife, and creator of vaginaments and other oddballeries made of heirloom quality wool-blend felt. How great is that :)

Vaginament. It's an ornament, just way better <3

> current Felt Melons Etsy shop:

> original Etsy Vaginament shop: